The Price Paid

For just a moment, sit with me,

look at me, listen to what I say,
don’t let a photo capture
your body language screaming,
“I gotta get away.”

I’ve gone over and over,
again and again,
can’t figure out what it is
you’re running from
or when it began.

I don’t understand your choices,
can’t see how you could
choose anything but us.

I’ve been to crazy places in my mind
wondering night after night,
time after time, how anyone
could be everything you
failed to find in me.

I think I must stand for every price paid in your life.
What was a beginning for me,
was your last breath to survive.
I was good to you; a good friend, mother and wife.
But God help me. God forgive me. God spare my children this…

I just can’t be the death of everything you’ve missed.

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